I wrote this for my previous blog, Talking to Strangers: An Introvert Hits the Streets. I've updated it a bit.
10. Enough with The Wire. You've already seen all the episodes of The Wire, called by many the best thing that's ever been on television, twice. And although Lester Freeman is right up there with Tony Hillerman's Joe Leaphorn in your personal detective hall of fame, the truly fascinating characters are the drug lords, lieutenants and soldiers. And they keep dying. Bodie shoots Wallace, and one of Marlo's guys shoots Bodie. The spawn of Satan, Kenard, shoots Omar at the corner bodega while he's ordering his Newports, or maybe it's his Honey Nut Cheerios. When Stringer Bell finally bites it, you feel sorry for him--and what does that say about you? The dockworkers, most of the staff of the Baltimore Sun, the school staff, and the police are mostly too depressing for words and also too familiar. You could run into them downtown getting coffee. In the end, Bubbles may prosper, but McNulty? He's still alone, still drunk, and only a little chastised. Is this series worth the 60 hours it would take you to watch it a third time?
9. Why so many police shows? You're beginning to suspect that the number of police and law-and-order shows on TV--you try to count how many but lose interest at 200--is a sign that someone out there believes you need convincing. Of what, you may wonder. On the one hand, many of these shows illustrate the deeds of dirty or homicidal squads, precincts and cities. On the other hand, these programs never fail to to assure you that in the long run bad cops, DAs, and judges will be brought to justice by right-minded good cops. Individuals are the problem, not the system. All is well. But the supposed hard-boiled realism of these shows hasn't caught up with bloody events on the ground--the militarized operations of police departments all over the country, the rolling out of tanks and grenade launchers, the gunning down of people of color. And now the propaganda extends to the virtuous heroes of the special forces. Watch SEAL Team Six if you can stomach it. I don't plan to.
8. The news is not really the news. In the case of Fox, it's an ineffective defense of Trump. In the case of CNN and MSNBC, it's a mind-numbingly repetitive prosecution of him. Some things may be improving. Erin Burnett hugs disaster victims after she interviews them. Van Jones sometimes pops his cork. Rachel Maddow provides a level of detail while "connecting the dots" that is truly impressive. But anchors and reporters would respect us more and lower their own blood pressures by simply delivering 45's speeches and tweets, his surrogates' clumsy explanations, without comment. The Trump machine convicts itself.
7. Outlander is hard on relationships. To value your husband as he deserves to be valued, it would be better not to tune in weekly to watch San Heughan disrobe.
6. Firefly is never coming back. Neither is Rubicon nor The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd nor any of the other programs my husband and I have enjoyed over the years that were cancelled soon after they started. Veronica Mars lasted three seasons. NCIS, in contrast, is into season 15. I ask you.
5. Commercials and the effort to avoid them are . . . well . . . bad for you. TV ads destroy your self-esteem, persuade you to spend money on things you don't need, wheedle their way so far into your head that you can still sing the Oscar Mayer jingle from the 70s in its entirety. What else might occupy that slot in your memory? A few bars of Bach? Rocky Raccoon?
Using Hulu or Netflix or something similar means you can avoid watching some commercials, but it puts you in the position of surfing through countless programs you could watch, and then often do.
4. Illegal downloading. You don't do this, right? Because it's illegal. But if you do, you have probably begun to receive (as we have) scary emails that say you may be subject to prosecution. An early look at the next episode of Better Call Saul is not worth it. (You thought I was going to say Game of Thrones, didn't you? I'm writing this, not my sons.)
3. Inevitable disappointment. The really good shows like Better Call Saul, the one or two series a year that open your heart and get you thinking, are sure to persuade you that if you look hard enough, click through all the channels, all the menus, you can find something worth watching every night of the week. This effort, sure to fail, will leave you, to quote Dr. Seuss in The Butter Battle Book, "downright despondent, disturbed, and depressed." Also pissed off. Enervated. Soul-sick.
2. There are other things to do. You could read, play cribbage, do a jigsaw puzzle while listening to a book on tape, go out for dessert, bake some at home, fool around, walk around your neighborhood in the dark. You could start living your life. If not now, when?
1. You could use that corner of the living room for something else: a bookshelf, a potted palm, a tardis or some other artifact to remind you that once you wasted your time watching television.
9. Why so many police shows? You're beginning to suspect that the number of police and law-and-order shows on TV--you try to count how many but lose interest at 200--is a sign that someone out there believes you need convincing. Of what, you may wonder. On the one hand, many of these shows illustrate the deeds of dirty or homicidal squads, precincts and cities. On the other hand, these programs never fail to to assure you that in the long run bad cops, DAs, and judges will be brought to justice by right-minded good cops. Individuals are the problem, not the system. All is well. But the supposed hard-boiled realism of these shows hasn't caught up with bloody events on the ground--the militarized operations of police departments all over the country, the rolling out of tanks and grenade launchers, the gunning down of people of color. And now the propaganda extends to the virtuous heroes of the special forces. Watch SEAL Team Six if you can stomach it. I don't plan to.
7. Outlander is hard on relationships. To value your husband as he deserves to be valued, it would be better not to tune in weekly to watch San Heughan disrobe.
6. Firefly is never coming back. Neither is Rubicon nor The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd nor any of the other programs my husband and I have enjoyed over the years that were cancelled soon after they started. Veronica Mars lasted three seasons. NCIS, in contrast, is into season 15. I ask you.5. Commercials and the effort to avoid them are . . . well . . . bad for you. TV ads destroy your self-esteem, persuade you to spend money on things you don't need, wheedle their way so far into your head that you can still sing the Oscar Mayer jingle from the 70s in its entirety. What else might occupy that slot in your memory? A few bars of Bach? Rocky Raccoon?
Using Hulu or Netflix or something similar means you can avoid watching some commercials, but it puts you in the position of surfing through countless programs you could watch, and then often do.
4. Illegal downloading. You don't do this, right? Because it's illegal. But if you do, you have probably begun to receive (as we have) scary emails that say you may be subject to prosecution. An early look at the next episode of Better Call Saul is not worth it. (You thought I was going to say Game of Thrones, didn't you? I'm writing this, not my sons.)
2. There are other things to do. You could read, play cribbage, do a jigsaw puzzle while listening to a book on tape, go out for dessert, bake some at home, fool around, walk around your neighborhood in the dark. You could start living your life. If not now, when?
1. You could use that corner of the living room for something else: a bookshelf, a potted palm, a tardis or some other artifact to remind you that once you wasted your time watching television.
We like BBC news--30 minutes, well researched, no ads. As for everything else you mentioned, I haven't seen any of it. We do carefully pick series that don't offend us: Doc Martin, Downton Abbey, Korean series, or choose foreign films that aren't as violent and depraived as US films typically are. I understand what you are saying. Seems like you have endured a lot of bad-for-you tv.
ReplyDeleteAh, I see that you have done everything perfectly, as usual.
ReplyDelete